Long Journey Home (9/?)

Title: Long Journey Home

Author: Gail R. Delaney

Series: The Unseen and In Between

Setting: Series 3 and 4 through “Journey’s End”. Each section will indicate which episode the particular scene revolves around either before – during – or after – as reference. This one takes place during Partners In Crime. The Excerpt is from Father Christmas from the Unseen and In Between series

Genre: Reunion/Fix-it Fic

Rating: PG-13 overall

Disclaimer: Not mine. If I owned Doctor Who, Christopher Eccleston and David Tennant would be my own private little playmates.

Summary: More than once, the Doctor told Rose something was ‘impossible’, just to later prove himself wrong. She no longer believed in impossible because of him. Then he told her that she could never see him again – that the walls were closed forever. Yeah, well… he also said they couldn’t do something else, and she had to prove one theory wrong to show he was wrong on both.



After the Year that Never Was

The Doctor leaned over the console, moving his magnifying glass over the Adipose Industries pendant. “Oh, fascinating. Seems to be a bio-flip digital switch, specifically for…”

He looked up, and paused. The only sound in the console room was the rhythmic hum of the TARDIS engines. The Doctor straightened and took a step back from the console, pushing his hands into his pockets.

I’m Listening…

He smiled. “I know.” The Doctor took a hand from his pocket and ran his fingertips along the edge of the console coral. “How are you feeling?” he asked his beautiful ship. “You’ve had some rough times lately.”

Nasty man took my bits and broke them up. Made me wrong.

“I’m sorry about that.”

“You fixed me again. Like forever.”

The Doctor turned toward the softly-spoken voice behind the jump seat. She kept herself half-hidden with only her bare feet visible below the seat and the top of her blonde head and impossibly blue eyes peeking over the back. He smiled and leaned back against the console, crossing his arms and ankles. The TARDIS hadn’t shown herself like this since … He skipped over the thought.

“You didn’t answer me. Is everything fixed? Do you need me to work on anything?”

She nodded.

“What?”

“Fix the silence.”

He pressed his lips together and lowered his head, drawing in a deep breath through his nose. “It’s better like this for now.”

“Not good for you to be alone.”

The Doctor chuckled, remembering the last time they had this conversation.

“What do you want from me!” he demanded, slapping his hand down on the TARDIS control panel. “Come on you stupid, stubborn machine!”

He tried again, and the engines refused to engage. The pressure on the base of his skull was cold and firm. She was angry.

“All right, all right. I’m sorry I called you stupid. Can we go now?”

The silence of the engines was his answer. He leaned into the console and hung his head, his eyes closed. The pressure spread to a warm embrace, apologetic. Still, the nudge was consistent. He shook his head.

“I don’t want her.”

Yes, you do.

“No, I don’t!”

Not good to be alone.

He grinned, opening his arms as he leaned back and looked to the ceiling. “That’s why I have you, isn’t it?”

Silence answered him.

“She’s a human,” he argued.

Don’t fool me.

“Why are you being so bull-headed about this?”

Silence again. She knew how to argue.

“I can’t make her come.”

Won’t have to.

“She said no.”

The Doctor pushed away from the console and walked around it to the other side, twisting a dial here and setting a scan there. All busy work to keep his hands in motion and his mind from lingering too long.

Lingering on Astrid Peth, who just wanted a vacation and ended up giving her life. Turned to star stuff.

Lingering on Martha Jones, who wanted more than he was willing to or wanted to give. Lingering on Donna Noble, a fiery redhead who put him in his place, but in the end stayed behind.

Better that way, probably.

And most importantly, to keep his mind from returning to the beautiful blonde that had healed his heart, soothed his soul and filled his life — only to leave him empty.

“Not empty. Forever Rose filled you up until you overflowed.”

The Doctor smiled and nodded. “That she did.”

“See?” She hopped a little behind the jump seat, her curly blonde hair bouncing on an unseen breeze. “Was right. Beautiful Rose didn’t say no. Beautiful Rose came and filled up everything. Beautiful Rose…” Her tiny little voice faltered, making him look up, and he saw tears on the child’s cheeks before she ducked behind the jump seat completely. “Beautiful Rose loved us.”

He looked away. The Doctor knew he didn’t have to say anything, his ship knew his thoughts… she knew his emotions. His happiness and his pain.

“I miss Forever Rose.”

He swallowed and nodded. “So do I.”

The tiny little girl, more a sprite than a child, edged around from behind the jump seat and crawled beneath the console. But she never came out the other side, fading away into the ethereal of the Vortex.

She whispers to me through the colors and the lights.

The Doctor scowled and looked up, focusing on the center piston. “What do you mean she whispers?”

But the TARDIS didn’t answer.

He didn’t push because knew what she meant. Even now, months and months after he’d lost her, he swore sometimes he could still hear her in the halls and rooms of the TARDIS. Her song carried off the walls, her laughter filled the spaces. When he allowed himself to sleep, he saw her face and felt her touch.

Another thousand years would pass and Rose Tyler would still be a part of his ship, as real and tangible as when she’d lived here. And just like the song she’d sung for him… it hurt, but it was a hurt he wouldn’t part with for anything. It had taken so long, so very long, to remember Rose without the smothering pain of that moment when she was torn from him. When he reached out helpless to save her. When he’d watched her cry and couldn’t wipe away the tears. But finally, he could. He could remember… he could let himself…

Forever. Rose.

---

The Doctor shut the TARDIS doors after Donna gave her grandfather one final wave. She sighed, which seemed to be a happy sound, and followed him back up the ramp to the console. He dematerialized and sent the TARDIS into the Vortex until he had his newest travel mate settled.

“Thank you for that, Doctor.”

“Oh, sure,” he said with a wave of his hand. “Good ole Wilf deserves a thrill.” He picked up two of her bags and headed for the door leading into the rest of the TARDIS. “Ready for the grand tour? Checking in, ma’am?”

Donna smiled and tipped her head. “Show me to my room, please.”

The Doctor smiled, and it felt good. Genuine, like he wasn’t trying to put on airs for anyone. Donna Noble was going to be a handful, that much he already knew. But, she had seen him at his very worst and somehow that made it okay. She’d pulled him back from the brink.

He turned his back to the door and pushed, thankful it opened easily. Apparently the TARDIS liked Donna because she’d given no argument. The wall sconces were already lit, casting a warm glow off the polished wood walls of the main hall, and the scent of applewood burning in the library fireplace filled the cavernous space.

“Oh. My. God,” Donna whispered. “Doctor, this is beautiful. I never imagined… I mean, I knew there was more, but I guess I thought it would be—“

“This is home,” he offered. “Anyway, kitchen is there, end of the hall and down the stairs is the library. Feel free. I believe your room will be at the end of the hall…” He started down the Turkish carpet, but paused when he realized Donna wasn’t following.

She stood near the wall, resting her fingers on the rich wood that ran from the floor into the vaulted enclaves that made the high ceiling. It was warmer in here, the way Rose had always liked it. The TARDIS never changed the climate here, and he knew it was because she waited for Rose to come back… even though it was impossible. Donna ran her hand up the wood, the smile on her lips barely there because of the awe that had taken over.

She likes me.

The Doctor smiled. “Yeah.”

Donna took a sideways step and peered into the kitchen. “Blimey, Doctor. You could feed the entire Royal Navy in here.”

He set her bags down and went back to the wide archway that opened into the kitchen. Brick walls with wooden pillars made it feel rustic and old, but nothing could be further from the truth. The cupboards were always stocked and the dishes were always clean. The air smelled of toast and coffee and chocolate chip pancakes and Bordovian Boiled Syrup, which Rose had declared to be ten times better than maple syrup.

Donna walked to the four-person table that sat to the side, her fingertips skimming over the aged surface.

“I don’t understand how this works, and I don’t think I want to understand…” She trailed off, looking at him. “Is that alright? I don’t seem thick because I don’t want to know, do I?”

The Doctor smiled. “Not at all.”

“Doctor… your ship is amazin’.”

“And you’ve only just seen the kitchen.”

He laid his hand on her shoulder and guided her back to the hall. The bags he’d set down were gone, and he assumed the ones in the control room had also been dealt with. The lift door on the other side of the hall was open, and he smiled, knowing the TARDIS was just showing off a bit.

“Not sure how much you’ll need to wander about the TARDIS, and I wouldn’t recommend it if I’m not with you, but the lift there will take you just about anywhere. But, she tries to keep everything close by for us.”

“She?”

“The TARDIS, Donna.” Here was one of the greatest obstacles the Doctor had tried to overcome with Martha, and one he never quite succeeded with. Of course, Rose knew intimately the truth of his ship. “The TARDIS is a living ship.”

“Oh, that’s bloody brilliant,” Donna declared with the same robust enthusiasm the Doctor had liked in her from the start. Then she scowled, not in anger but more in thought. “Does she, you know, hear my thoughts and stuff?”

“She does get inside your head, yes. You’ll see more as we go. But, don’t worry, Donna. Big Brother isn’t watching.”

“Oh, I love that show!”

The Doctor smiled and shook his head, turning to face the other side of the hallway. “Bedrooms are here, yours is there at the end.”

He walked purposefully past his own bedroom door and past the closed room that had been Rose’s bedroom to the third door. This room had housed Jack Harkness, Mickey Smith, Martha Jones… and with each guest, it had been slightly different. The Doctor grinned, wondering what he would find when he opened the door.

The room was beautiful. For Martha, the room had been sizeable, but compact in comparison to the other bedrooms, with dark walls and brown bedding. It was ‘nice’… but this was nice. White carved wood furniture decorated the massive space, and the walls were a soft yellow with silk draperies hanging from ceiling to floor. The floor itself was a pale, wide plank wood with Turkish carpets scattered to cover it. Donna’s hat box sat on the corner of a massive bed covered with an elegant cream colored duvet with a mound of pillows against the headboard. The Doctor saw the entrance to the attached bathroom, and from the glimpse of pale pink marble tile and glass, he figured the TARDIS had held back nothing for Ms. Donna Noble.

“Oh, god…” Donna whispered as she stepped inside, brushing past him to stand at the foot of the bed. “This is beautiful.”

“That it is, Donna. That it is. The old girl outdid herself for you.”

Not old!

“Sorry,” he said quickly. “Not old. Not as TARDIS’ go.”

Donna turned and looked at him, and the Doctor swirled his finger in the air. “I insulted her.”

“You talk to her, then…”

“Sure.”

“Can I talk to her?”

“Well, you can, but I doubt she’ll talk back. You have to have a connection with her, and only one person other than me has had that.”

Donna’s expression softened a little, the corner of her mouth turning up in a small, gentle smile. “Rose.”

He nodded, but continued. “So, you can tell her whatever you want or need. And she’ll take care of you.”

“Thank you,” she said, then looked up at the high ceiling. “Thank you.”

The TARDIS didn’t respond, not with any words, but the surge of pleasant happiness that spread around him told him all he needed to know. “She says you’re welcome.”

“I can’t believe this. I can’t believe I found you again. And I can’t believe I’m in a bloody living ship that travels through time and space!”

“Believe it, Donna.”

He left her alone to settle in, and stopped in the kitchen for some biscuits and marmalade. As he stood at the counter, spreading the jam, he smiled when he thought of the many times he and Rose had come to the kitchen for snacks in the middle of the night. She almost always pulled on whatever shirt he’d discarded, and padded down the hall barefoot. Sometimes she’d jump up on the counter to sit cross-legged, stealing his biscuits when he looked the other way.

Of course, he always let her steal the biscuit. Because the game was in the outrage and the denial… and the kissing and touching that usually followed. Once, they’d even gotten creative with the marmalade…

“Doctor?”

He jumped, dropping his biscuit and it landed marmalade side down on the counter. “Donna—“ he huffed.

“Sorry, didn’t realize you didn’t hear me.”

He offered her a biscuit, a new one, and licked his fingers after scooping up the flipped one. “Did you need something?”

“Not really. I’m just… absorbing.”

He smiled. “Careful of that. I saw someone literally be absorbed once. Absorbaltrix… no, wait…” The Doctor tipped his head, squinting his eyes. “No, sorry. Absorbaloff. From the planet Clom. Sister planet to Raxacorricofallapatorious.”

“Do you always go on like that?”

“Afraid I do, yeah. Rose once told me I had the gift of gab.”

“Gift of somethin’, yeah.” She smiled, tilting her head as she looked at him. “You were smilin’ when I came in. What were you thinkin’ about? Rose?”

He nodded, studiously wiping down the counter. Once upon a time, he’d left it knowing the TARDIS would clean it up, but Rose had lectured him one too many times about taking the TARDIS for granted and he could very well wipe up his own marmalade.

“I’m sorry she’s still lost.”

“Yeah,” he said softly. “Me, too.”

“If you want…” Donna paused, and took a seat at the table. “You can tell me about her.”

The Doctor leaned back into the corner of the counter where it turned toward the double ovens. He set his hands on the counter edge on either side of him and let his shoulders relax. “You don’t know what you’re asking for, Donna. Once I start, I might not be able to stop.”

“That’s okay.”

He drew in a slow breath, the smells of the kitchen filling his head and even they reminded him of her.

“Donna, I’ve been traveling for centuries. Literally, hundreds of years.” He paused, wondering if she’d made a crack, but she didn’t and he figured Donna would take just about anything he told her.

She’d accepted time travel, space travel and relative dimensions with barely a blink… it wasn’t that big of a jump to accept he was nearly ancient in comparison to anything she understood.

“And in all that time, and for all the people I’ve had travel with me, Rose Tyler is the only one…” His voice caught, but he forced the words to come, because they needed to be spoken. “Rose is the only one I loved. With all my soul and both my hearts.“ That earned a cock of a single eyebrow. “I don’t know what else to say.”

Donna smiled. “That’s a start.”